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Hook-Up Buddy or Boyfriend? Defining the Line in a Relationship

By Chloe Orlando

December 2008/January 2009

News flash–relationships are complicated! Especially the beginning phases, which are accompanied by a string of "firsts" that, although fresh and exciting, can sometimes be just a little bit awkward. The first time you meet, your first date, your first kiss…you get the idea. Sure, having that sweet and sexy, perfect boyfriend is every girl's dream—but actually snagging a keeper is easier said than done.

So you've been hooking up with that hottie from English lecture, and he seems like the perfect match. All the signs make him stand out as boyfriend material, and he's totally into you! You want to set the stage and ease your way into a committed relationship with him. However, you're not positive if he is interested in having a girlfriend, and you're too scared to ask him, out of fear that you will come across as clingy, or worse, be rejected. What should you do?

Be direct. Ask your guy what he is looking for. Does he want to be in a relationship or stay single? Let him know exactly what you want. There's no sense dragging on a relationship if your man isn't willing to commit!

Hold off on the hooking up. Try not hooking up with him for a week or two, and see what his reaction is. Does he ditch you and find someone new, or does he remain persistent and show genuine interest in you?

Open up to him. Let him get a good sense of who you are. Share details of your life that he doesn't already know.

Show your commitment & have the talk. Let him know that he is the only man you are interested in, and that you are ready for a relationship. Be clear and sincere and tell him you want to be his girlfriend.

Before you have this talk with your current hook-up buddy, it's important to look out for signs that might indicate he's not interested in being your boyfriend. We've come up with a few easy-to-spot pointers that will give you an idea of just how serious he really is!