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Review: He's Just Not That Into You
The modern girl's dating dilemma, and the book that provides the answer

By Chloe Orlando

November 2008

"OMG Lola, he is so cute and so sweet, you have to meet him! He was totally flirting with me in Spanish section today. You know, telling me how I was beautiful and all, with that really sexy accent that he does. Do you think I should text him and ask him out this weekend? No, he should be asking me out, right? OMG I want him so badly! He is like so hot, you have no idea! But wait - I saw pictures of him with this girl at a party last weekend on Facebook. They were all over each other. And she was really pretty. Do you think he's just a major flirt? He was probably totally wasted anyway, right? Do I even have a chance with him? Ahhhhh! Lola! Help me!"

Sound familiar? That's what we thought. Welcome to the life of the modern-day college girl. Yes, that girl would be you! In a world where casual hookups, no-strings-attached sex, and non-existent dating prevail, the word "relationship" can seem like a foreign term. And with college guys these days, it's no wonder a pretty girl who has everything going for her can't seem to find a decent guy who is willing to commit.

We have all been in one of these dreaded situations before. The guy forgets to call (or if he does call, it's at 2AM on a Saturday night). He refuses to ask you out on a real date, because in his eyes, a make-out session in his dorm room is more than perfect. Or, he has enough class to ask you out to dinner, but after date number one, he disappears. "Wait, but he really meant to call me. He really did! He must have just forgotten, right?" Or, "Come on, he totally would have asked me out on a second date! He was just too scared!"

Look, girl, it's about time you wake up and smell the coffee...HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!

Thanks to Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, the wise and sassy authors of He's Just Not That Into You, every one of us modern girls now has a handy guidebook to help us decipher the actions of that guy we’re head-over-heels for. And this dynamic duo is not afraid to lay it straight to you. If you follow their eleven simple rules listed below, you will never find yourself in Lola's friend's position ever again.

That said, as soon as you finish reading this article, run to the nearest bookstore and buy a copy of this amazing must-read. In the words of the authors, it's every modern girl's "no excuse truth to understanding guys." Whoever said "asshole" was the new "sweetheart" was seriously disturbed.

Rule #1: "He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out on a date."
And by a date, we do not mean a romantic get-away to his messy, empty beer can-cluttered dorm room to hookup on his unmade bed.

Rule #2: "He's just not that into you if he's not calling you."
It doesn't take too much energy to pick up the phone and dial a few digits. If a guy really cares about you, he'll want to talk to you as much as he can.

Rule #3: "He's just not that into you if he's not dating you."
If he's not comfortable calling you his girlfriend, then you've got the wrong guy. If a guy really likes you and wants to be with just you, he won't be afraid to make it official. Oh, and if he pulls the "I don't want to be in a serious relationship" line, that really means "I don't want to be in a serious relationship with you."

Rule #4: "He's just not that into you if he's not having sex with you."
If a guy likes you, he won't be able to keep his hands off you.

Rule #5: "He's just not that into you if he's having sex with someone else."
Come on, girls, has cheating ever been in vogue? If a guy is sleeping with another chick, it's time you ditch the pathetic loser.

Rule #6: "He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk."
Alcohol puts you in a different state of mind. If your man really likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.

Rule #7: "He's just not that into you if he doesn't want to marry you."
There are millions of guys out there dying to be with you. If your current man isn't willing to tie the knot after you've been dating for an extended period of time, it's time you stop wasting your precious time and move on to someone else.

Rule #8: "He's just not that into you if he's breaking up with you."
It's called a breakup for a reason. Instead of moping around and feeling sorry for yourself, put on your sexiest outfit and go on the prowl.

Rule #9: "He's just not that into you if he's disappeared on you."
If he suddenly disappears without notice and won't take your calls, not only is he not into you, but he thinks so lowly of you that he is willing to leave you confused, upset, and wondering.

Rule #10: "He's just not that into you if he's married (and other insane versions of being unavailable)."
Stay away from guys who are involved with other women. It says enough about their character.

Rule #11: "He's just not that into you if he's a selfish jerk, a bully, or a really big freak."
Your man should make you feel like the most amazing and special girl in the world!

Source: He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. Copyright: Simon Spotlight Entertainment, 2004.