Freeze College Magazine

Love & Relationships

Why Guys Go M.I.A.

By Lauren Medina

March 2009

"M.I.A.: A soldier reported missing following a combat mission and whose status as to injury, capture, or death is unknown." Yes, this term is not only used in war but can also apply to romance—which, some may argue, is a war in its own right. For girls in college, it is especially common for guys to suddenly go missing. So why are so many girls reporting their guys M.I.A.? Here at Freeze, we make it our mission to make the unknown known. Still waiting for a response to that text you sent a week ago?

These are the top 10 reasons why your guy may be "Missing In Action":

1. Delay in operations...
Whether things between you were slow from the start or slowed over time, guys can get impatient and question your interest. If the relationship isn't going anywhere, he may think it's a lost cause.

2. Conflicts with his comrades...
A guy can be hesitant if his friends don't give the go-ahead. Without their approval, whatever the reason, he'll think twice before pursuing things further.

3. Loss of morale...
Maybe he enlisted for a relationship not knowing what he was getting himself into. Because guys think of romance in terms of day-by-day in contrast to girls who tend to anticipate the romance lasting month-by-month, he'll pullout once he discovers he got into it for the wrong reasons.

4. Too many battles...
Guys know when something is more than what they signed up for. No matter how experienced a soldier is, too many arguments and fights will wear a guy down and drive him away.

5. Suddenly surrounded...
If you're too clingy, he'll withdraw out of self-defense. In this case, guys can feel like they're not only fighting for their life but a life of their own in order to protect themselves against any sort of smothering or suffocation. (Hint: not responding to calls or texts will be his first fallback strategy.)

6. Unprepared for an ambush...
On the same note, he could be into you, but maybe you're into him to the point where he feels pressured. If things are moving too fast, he may get cold feet and retreat.

7. Change in rank...
Obtaining one girl can alter a guy's confidence and status as from a private to a general. Guys are always on the lookout to up the ante, and a small boost in ego could lead him to believe he has the ammunition to aim for a target he didn't have the courage to go after before.

8. Fraternization with the enemy...
He might be involved with another girl. Even though he may still be interested in you, he could want to see how things play out with her before getting back to you—in other words you're Plan B.

9. Different objectives...
A common occurrence: you're ready for a relationship; he's afraid of commitment. The reason why girls aren't known for going M.I.A. is because it's usually the guys who want to keep their options open in order to gain more territory.

10. Detained by work...
Giving him the benefit of the doubt, he may just be swamped with work this week. It's very possible that he could be busy with internship applications or bogged down by deadlines. Following others' orders will give him little time to devote to his own. Plus, everyone has an off week—so wait it out and see if he maintains his M.I.A. status.