Ask a Guy: David Boswell

Q: My boyfriend and I have been going out for 3 months now and we're pretty serious. I know that we're going out for Valentine’s Day, but I don't know if he got me a present. Would it be presumptuous of me to go ahead and get him a something?

A: A lot of couples become kind of lost when it comes to Valentine ’s Day gifts. The important thing to remember is that if you really like your boyfriend and want to get him something special you shouldn’t worry about whether he is getting you something or not. You are already going out for Valentine’s Day and say you are serious, so a present will not seem too forward.

That being said, there are two types of gifts you can give him: the practical or the creative. The practical is something like a nice shirt or sweater that you know he will get a lot of good use out of. While the nice, sensible gifts are always appreciated, I’m a bit partial to the random, creative gifts myself. These include surprises like bringing him breakfast in bed or various artistic things that incorporate something special that only you two share. You could write him a song or a poem, paint a picture, make a photograph montage, choreograph a dance for him, etc. A lot of people are hesitant to do these kinds of things because they think they are too cheesy or lame, but I’ve found that a little personal creativity and randomness is fun and is remembered long after the normal gifts. You should know your boyfriend and know what kinds of things he likes, and even if the gift ends up being a bomb it really is the thought that counts and ultimately you should be the only gift he needs. Good luck!

Q: I really like this guy. We've gone out twice before but are not an official couple or anything. I'd really like to go out with him on Valentine’s Day. Should I ask him out or should I wait for him to ask me out? I don't want to be too forward!

Because ya’ll have only been out twice before and are not an official couple it is natural that each one of you would be feeling hesitant about asking the other one. Yet, if you really want to go out with this guy on Valentine’s Day then there is no harm in asking him. It would probably be best to approach the issue in a very casual manner and propose just hanging out or doing something more informal and laid back. After only two dates it would be weird to spend a serious Valentine’s together, and asking for something like that might turn the guy off a little. Ultimately in situations where both people are somewhat hesitant though, most guys would like to be asked. However it probably would be best if you didn’t take over the whole situation. Give him the little nudge and propose something and then let him have a part in it by helping come up with what to do. If you like the guy and want to spend time with him, there is no reason for you not to ask, just be sure you do so in a way that doesn’t scare him.

Ask a Girl: Windsor Hanger

Q: I’ve been dating this girl since the beginning of the year. This is my first serious relationship and I’m kind of lost on this whole Valentine’s Day thing. Can you give me some pointers?

A: Valentine’s day is an important day for couples - it’s the only holiday dedicated entirely to romance! Needless to say, your anxiety is not uncommon. If your girlfriend is like most, she is probably expecting you to do something special for her. Here are a couple of suggestions. First, you two should have dinner together. If you want to go on the more traditional route, take her out – just be sure to make reservations! Some good places to go in Harvard Square: Fire and Ice, Bertuccis, the Border Café, or Wagamama. Valentine’s Day is also a great excuse to venture out into the city – be adventurous and take her to the North End (T-Stop: HayMarket) or Ice Skating at the Frog Pond in Boston Common (T-Stop: Park Street). If your girlfriend likes opera consider taking her to a performance. If she likes theater, look at what shows are being performed in Boston. At Harvard we all tend to forget that there is life outside of our bubble here in Cambridge, but Valentines Day is an excuse to explore some of the cultural experiences that Boston has to offer. If you don’t want to leave campus but still want to crank up the romance, consider having her over to your room for a “picnic.” Try this: Set up a “picnic blanket” (any sort of blanked will do) on the floor of you room and order in. Pick up some electronic tea lights (non-flame “candles”) from CVS and play some music. When she arrives, have the lights low, the music playing and the food ready to eat. After dinner the two of you can snuggle up and watch a movie (just not anything too gory or violent – you don’t want to spoil the mood).

In terms of a gift, flowers are always a good idea. You could even find out from her friends what kind of flowers are her favorites and choose those over the traditional rose bouquet. Jewelry is also nice, but not required, especially on a college-student’s budget. Valentine’s day is important but is not necessarily the only opportunity you will have to give your girlfriend a gift. If her birthday’s coming up, it may be a better idea to go for flowers now and splurge on her a little later.