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How-Tos for the Socially Challenged
By Windsor Hanger
February 13, 2008
Bringing Southern Charm and Propriety to Harvard
Every girl loves a Southern boy. You want to know why? It’s because—in general—they have manners. They were brought up with knowledge of how to be polite and socially comfortable in any situation. Weren’t born in the South but still want to charm the ladies? Were born in the South but need a little bit of polishing up before you meet your gf’s ’rents? That’s what this column is here for!
Just in time for Valentine’s Day, here are a few pointers for all you soon-to-be Southern gentlemen out there.
How to Be a Good Date:
For Guys
This may seem simple, but in order to be a good date, you’ve got to ask the girl out in the first place. Maybe I’m a little old-fashioned in this regard, but I believe that it’s the boy’s job to ask for the first date.
Call the day before your scheduled date to confirm the time and place that you will meet the following evening.
Be on time! If you’re picking up your date in a car, arrive a few minutes early in order to give yourself enough time to park, and always walk up to the door to pick up your date. It is never okay to honk your horn in order to announce your arrival. If you’re picking up your date from her room, don’t call from the courtyard; swipe yourself in, walk up to her room and knock on the door (yes, even if she lives on the 6th floor!).
Compliment your date. Tell her that she looks beautiful, that you like her dress, that she smells nice, etc. A flattering remark will do wonders where your date’s mood is concerned.
Offer your arm to your date (escort her) whenever you are walking in public (that means outside, inside, anywhere the two of you will be seen together that evening). Whether it is your first date or your fiftieth, escorting your date while you walk always adds a touch of class to the evening.
Hold every door for your date, letting her walk through first.
If riding in a car, exit the car first, close your door and walk around to open the car door for your date, helping her out of the vehicle.
If out to dinner, let your date order first. Never say anything about how much the restaurant costs or about the price of any item on the menu.
During dinner it’s important to keep up a good conversation. Try to talk about something other than the food and the weather – ask her about her family, her friends or what she likes to do. This part shouldn’t be too hard.
If at any point during the evening your date needs to leave the table, it is important to stand. When she returns to the table you should stand again and help her with her chair.
Pay for dinner. After the two of you have been dating for some time, it’s acceptable for the girl to pay for the occasional outing. On a first date, however, a true Southern gentleman always pays.
At the end of the evening, walk your date back to her room/wherever she’s going next. Give her a hug and kiss her either on the cheek or on the lips – whatever you feel is appropriate. Just make sure to make it a quick peck if you do go for the lips.
Call 1-3 days later to tell her that you had a wonderful time (if indeed you did) and ask her out again (if indeed you want to).
Follow these simple rules and you’ll be well on your way to being a Perfect Southern Gentleman—and to having a wonderful evening!
