We’ve all heard stories about date rape. But what you may not know is that the reason we talk about date rape today is due to the bravery of one woman: Katie Koestner. And as incredible as her story is, the efforts she makes today are perhaps even more amazing. As part of Take Back the Night, sponsored by Harvard’s Office of Sexual Assault Prevention and Response (OSAPR), Katie will be coming to our very own campus on April 13th to speak out and raise the issues that still linger.
Katie was only 18, in her third week of college, when she was raped. She was with a guy she knew, liked, and trusted. But when she brought her case to college authorities, she was dismissed, and so was the case against him. The college went so far as to suggest that she and her perpetrator “get back together.”
Although there was not protocol for dealing with date rape – which was not even a term, at that point – Katie knew that she could not let other women go through this experience alone. Being the first to speak out was “shockingly hard.” Katie described it as “going into a black tunnel and not knowing what’s in there, and no one turns on the lights.” She became the poster child for sexual assault at college, appearing on the cover of Time among numerous other media appearances.
But even then, Katie felt that the media exposure was not her own. She was told how to sit, how to smile, and what to talk about during her interviews. She was young, and still not strong, according to Katie. But over time, Katie has turned her story into not only an inspiration for other women, but into a necessary conversation starter. Date rape has become a common topic across campuses nationwide and events such as Take Back the Night create a space for victims, their friends, and college students looking to offer recognition and support.
Katie now travels across the country, speaking out and asking essential questions. Perhaps the most striking issue she raises is that date rape can, and does, happen to anyone. Katie was a straight A student, a Christian and a non-drinker when she was attacked. Certainly not the typical party scene many students imagine when they think of date rape. Of course, drinking can be a major player in sexual assault and date rape, but it is by no means a prerequisite.
Date rape remains a tough and touchy concept. In her talks, Katie asks some of the hardest questions that still plague the issue. What is consent? Where is the line drawn for seduction? The answer is not black and white. But that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be discussed. In fact, Katie finds that provocation is the best thing for the issue today. Keeping the conversation going, after all, means that it isn’t being hidden behind closed doors.
The evolution of the term date rape complicates the issue as well. Questions like “do you have to make good on text messages?” need to be asked. Even if we do not know the answers, Katie wants us to think about the implications of date rape across different levels of silence: gender, race, religion, sexual orientation. For example, she asks “Can a woman be raped and still be a leader, or does it make you weak?”
If you’re interested in any of her questions, her stories, or want to raise your own, we encourage you to take part in Take Back the Night and come hear Katie speak on April 13th at 8pm in CGIS Tsai Auditorium. Bring friends: your blockmate, your boyfriend. The more people talking, the better. As a final word, Katie says this: “I challenge all men of Harvard to attend this speech, from all backgrounds. Don’t be embarrassed to walk in the door.” We hope to see you there.
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